Recent Updates
News:
11/11 Rest of Semin Interview...More…
11/9 Boudreau on OV's Slump...More…
11/9 OV Interview after Rangers Game...More…
11/5 Entire Semin Interview!...More…
11/3 The Dzagoev Dialectic...More…
10/31 Fedorov Interview...More…
10/30 Semin and Kozlov...More…
10/20 Yet Another OV Q&A...More…
10/20 Yet Another Semin Q&A...More…
10/17 Short OV Interview...More…
10/17 Feds Interview...More…
10/14 Another Semin Interview...More…
9/18 Semin Interview...More…
9/16 Simeon Varlamov in America...More…
9/5 Morozov and the KHL...More…
9/3 OV behind bars?...More…
8/17 OV on Russian Game show...More…
8/12 OV in Beijing...More…
8/4 OV is in even better shape than last year...More…
7/28 Jagr and OV talk...More…
7/27 Kapitanov--OV doesn't even take vitamins...More…
7/25 OV can't get to his seat...More…
7/22 OV parties in Moscow...More…
7/23 OV Going to Beijing...More…
6-3 OV the Superman...More…
5-27 Don Cherry loves OV...More…
5-30 OV interview in Pittsburgh..More…
5-13 Feds Interview...More…
5-12 OV Interview...More…
Odious Don Koharski killed us More…
Blog:
10 April 2008-The Playoffs are just around the corner More…
29 October 2008
Slava Malamud
Washington
The Dzagoev Dialectic
When we say that is impossible to understand Russia with your head (or any other part of your body, or through the hypostases of human nature or household goods), we are not, of course, talking about foreigners but about ourselves. We already know that foreigners don’t understand us. We also know (although we try to convince ourselves otherwise) that it is boring for them to try and understand us. In the mind of most westerners, Russia is on the same level as their living room ceiling. Yes, they know it exists and yes, it is quite large, but until it starts leaking it is not in their line of sight and they don’t pay much attention to it. Every now and then it can even be rather difficult for us to understand ourselves. The entirety of our classical literature was born from these agonizing pangs of self understanding, and those of you who remember just how forcefully our schoolteachers pounded that stuff into our heads cannot help but agree.
Several days ago, your correspondent in the dull countries desired the
unobtainable—to fill in the immense blank spaces of our domestic logic.
The exact time of this desire was immediately after reading the
editorial in the Saturday edition of our newspaper. If you recall, the
storyline was concerned with a young soccer player by the name of Alan
Dzagoev and the interest allegedly being shown him by “Real Madrid”. The
tone of the article was optimistic, if not to say enthusiastic. Can it
be? Such a young guy—and to “Real”! One of our guys, taking Beckham’s
place! Oh My God! Is that not the coolest thing?! And the words of the
head coach didn’t leave any doubts: “We are happy that the Europeans are
interested in Alan!” I don’t know if Valeri Gregorievich was wiping away
tears when he said this, but it sure sounded sensual.
I know for a fact I would never in my entire life hear such words
uttered by a Russian hockey coach concerning a player picked in the
first round of the NHL draft. At the same time, while Dzagoev (assuming
he truly is purchased by some or other “Real”, even Osasuna) goes to
Spain accompanied by the enthusiasm of the community, the reaction to
the departure of any qualified “Ovechkin” to any qualified “Washington”
would be unambiguously negative.
Your correspondent understands that there are many things in this
situation that are not in order. He understands, for example, that
soccer in Russia has always been looked upon as a way to bring us closer
to those in Europe who don’t notice us and to finally be recognized by
them, while hockey is used as an ideological front in the war against
the accursed Americans. And that Russian soccer doesn’t occupy quite the
same place on the global stage as Russian hockey. And that in exchange
for this soccer player, someone (we don’t know who) is going to pay
someone (also unknown) some amount of money under some conditions, while
nobody is paying anybody for a hockey player.
But I really don’t understand why all of this has to have such a strong
influence on our response to two identical situations—the voluntary
departure of two players to teams worthy of their talents. I believe
that this shows a nightmarish double standard, and the way we deal with
hockey players is completely wrong. Due to our complex geopolitical
philosophies, it is much more reprehensible for them to dream of going
abroad than for soccer players. But isn’t “voluntary departure” the key
concept here? Neither the NHL nor Pamplonian Dons are taking our guys
from Russia against their wills. The result is that if we do not wish to
reinstate the iron curtain and close our borders up tight, our position
should be one and the same: “If you want to go, then go!” That goes for
soccer players as well as hockey players.
And for hockey players, it should be even more so. Actually, if you
think about it, their departure to accursed America is much more
advantageous to our domestic sports than the excursions of some soccer
players to group-hug Europe. Indeed, the standard destiny for the latter
is to thoroughly polish the European benches and a year later make their way
down to the Kuban, a languid fraction of their own pale shadow. Look,
who was it that won gold for us at the last world championship of
hockey? The “Washington Constituency” and Nabokov. Where would we be
without our NHL lineage? It would be terrible to even imagine it. And
how many foreign players brought us soccer success in Euro-2008? And
don’t mention Saenko unless you are sure you could recognize him when you
see him.
Why, then, is there such glee at the prospect of a soccer player
departing, and such righteous anger for a hockey player? Is it really
just a matter of an inferiority complex in front of foreigners? We could
tell them about this, but they probably wouldn’t understand.
Click on icon above for original story in Russian at www.sport-express.ru